A comic about finding pieces of a pocket watch.

page 3

28th Feb 2020, 10:53 AM in Chapter 1
page 3
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Author Notes:

skybuilder 28th Feb 2020, 10:53 AM
skybuilder
Every page at least one panel is messed up horribly for this page it was panel 1.

Comments:

Sharon Ross 24th Aug 2020, 1:14 PM
I note that the background has changed for these panels. It appears they are sitting on a pier. The transition from ‘forest’ to ‘pier’ seems sudden. What made you change the landscape so completely? However, I do like the ‘dimension’ and ‘depth’ you’ve introduced.
You’ve done an amazing job with the development of the ‘fishing character’.
I think you could improve the dialogue between the two in panel 2. Don’t forget to start the sentence with a ‘capital letter’.
I suggest the following:
The fishing character could ask ‘Are you lost?’
The main character could reply ‘Yes I am. Where are we anyway?’
I find it difficult to follow the dialogue in panel 3 – you need to re-work this so that there’s a logical flow.
I like the ‘starkness’ of panel 4 and the ‘rear view’ perspective/dimension you’ve given it. Very clever! Don’t forget to start with a capital letter – ‘Now,….’